There are several good reasons for drinking – and one has just entered my head. If a man can’t drink when he’s living, then how the hell can he drink when he’s dead.

May the ships at sea never be bottoms up.

Four blessings upon you – Older whiskey – Younger women – Faster horses – More money.

Here’s to all of the women who have used me and abused me – And may they continue to do so!

Here’s to cheating, stealing, fighting, and drinking. If you cheat, may you cheat death. If you steal, may you steal a woman’s heart. If you fight, may you fight for a brother. And if you drink, may you drink with me.

Dance as if no one were watching, Sing as if no one were listening, And live every day as if it were your last.

Here’s to the breezes that blow through the treeses, That blow the skirts off of young girls’ kneeses, Which lead to the sights that sometimes pleases, But more often leads to social diseases.

May the winds of fortune sail you, May you sail a gentle sea. May it always be the other guy who says, “this drink’s on me.”