Diet Quotes

I’ve been on a diet for two weeks and all I’ve lost is two weeks.

To lengthen thy life, lessen thy meals.

You know you’ve reached a Certain Age when you find you’re more concerned with being able to get into your own pants than into someone else’s.

Changing our diet is something we choose to do, not something we are forced to do. Instead of dreading it, try saying, “Here’s another thing I get to do to help myself. Great!”

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you’re off it.

No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office.

The three words women most want to hear from a man are, “You lost weight”.

What you eat standing up doesn’t count.

I’ve got so much fiber in my diet that, when I go to the bathroom, I get wicker furniture.

Probably nothing in the world arouses more false hopes than the first four hours of a diet.