I’ve lost the same half-stone so many times my cellulite’s got deja vu. I don’t need a diet. What I need is a tape worm.
Diet Quotes
You can’t lose weight by talking about it. You have to keep your mouth shut.
For a quick pick-me-up, take a plain yoghurt, a banana and a few ice cubes in a blender and puree until smooth. Throw it at a skinny person.
My appetite is my shepherd, I always want. It maketh me sit down and stuff myself. It leadeth me to my refrigerator repeatedly Sometimes during the night. It leadeth me in the path of Burger King for a Whopper. It destroyeth my shape. Yea, though I knoweth I gaineth, I will not stop eating, For […]
Changing our diet is something we choose to do, not something we are forced to do. Instead of dreading it, try saying, “Here’s another thing I get to do to help myself. Great!”
The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you’re off it.
No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office.
The three words women most want to hear from a man are, “You lost weight”.
What you eat standing up doesn’t count.
I’ve got so much fiber in my diet that, when I go to the bathroom, I get wicker furniture.
