No one can have a higher opinion of him than I have, and I think he’s a dirty little beast.
William S. Gilbert Quotes
As some day it may happen that a victim must be found, I’ve got a little list, I’ve got a little list Of society offenders who might well be underground And who never would be missed, who never would be missed!
The idiot who praises, with enthusiastic tone, All centuries but this, and every country but his own.
In short whoever you may be, To this conclusion you’ll agree, When everyone is somebodee, Then no one’s anybody!
Oh, don’t the days seem lank and long, When all goes right and nothing goes wrong. And isn’t your life extremely flat, With nothing whatever to grumble at!
Beauty will fade and perish, but personal cleanliness is practically undying, for it can be renewed whenever it discovers symptoms of decay.
I have a left shoulder-blade that is a miracle of loveliness. People come miles to see it. My right elbow has a fascination that few can resist.
Things are seldom what they seem, Skim milk masquerades as cream; Highlows pass as patent leathers; Jackdaws strut in peacock’s feathers… Black sheep dwell in every fold; All that glitters is not gold; Storks turn out to be but logs; Bulls are but inflated frogs.
I am, in point of fact, a particularly haughty and exclusive person, of pre-Adamite ancestral descent. You will understand this when I tell you that I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomic globule. Consequently, my family pride is something inconceivable. I can’t help it. I was born sneering.
