The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it’s just sort of a tired feeling.
Paula Poundstone Quotes
I don’t have a bank account, because I don’t know my mother’s maiden name.
Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.
The problem with cats is that they get the same exact look whether they see a moth or an ax-murderer.
I was born in Alabama, but I only lived there for a month before I’d done everything there was to do.
I go to atheist church. We have crippled guys who stand up and testify that they were crippled, and they still are.