P.J. O'Rourke Quotes

Communism was the notion that, if you took everything away from the people and made them go sit in Siberia, people would behave like perfect little angels. Communism was hell’s own time-out, Mom being Joseph Stalin. . . Then there was communism’s weak-tea sister, socialism. Socialists maintained that we should take all the money away […]

Communists worship the Devil himself. Socialists believe damnation is a good system run by bad people. And liberals want to send everyone to hell because it’s warm there in the winter.

Marxism is a perfect example of the chimeras that fueled the sixties. And it was probably the most potent one. Albeit, much of this Marxism would have been unrecognizable to Marx. It was Marxism watered down, Marxism spiked with LSD and Marxism adulterated with mystical food coloring. But it was Marxism nonetheless because the wildest […]

The Tenth Commandment sends a message to socialists, to egalitarians, to people obsessed with fairness… to everyone who believes that wealth should be redistributed. And the message is clear and concise: Go to hell.

Command. n. Statement presented by a human and accepted by a computer in such a manner as to make the human feel as if he is control.

The way that Tito kept the Serbs, Croats, Slovenians, Montenegrins, Albanians, and Kosovars from killing each other was, he did it for them.

There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmas time. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made out of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them.

It takes a village to raise a child. The village is Washington. You are the child.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.