P.J. O'Rourke Quotes

With Epcot Center the Disney Corporation has accomplished something I didn’t think possible in today’s world. They have created a land of make-believe that’s worse than regular life.

When you looked at the Republicans, you saw the scum off the top of business. When you looked at the Democrats, you saw the scum off the top of politics. Personally, I prefer business. A businessman will steal from you instead of getting the IRS to do it for him. And when Republicans ruin the […]

I mean it’s one thing to be ruled by an elite in a country. There are elites of merit. There are elites of wealth. There are elites of birth. We can have various objections to being ruled by any of those elites, but none of them are as objectionable as the self-selected elite. And the […]

The Democrats are the party of government activism, the party that says government can make you richer, smarter, taller, and get the chickweed out of your lawn. Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work, and then get elected and prove it.

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race. All through history, mankind has been bullied by scum. Those who lord it over their fellows and toss commands in every direction and would boss the grass in the meadow about which way to bend in the wind are the most depraved kind of […]

True masters of democracy extend their embrace beyond the mere electorate to those who cannot vote: kids, endangered species, and people in Florida.

Corporate corruption endangers everything in which we have, over the past many years, invested our time, effort, and money… That is, assuming there’s any corruption. It may be semantics. When senators and representatives get together in Congress to fix prices on prescription drugs, they’re national heroes. When pharmaceutical company CEOs get together on the golf […]

Conservatism is sometimes confused with social Darwinism or other such me-first dogmas. Sometimes the confusion is deliberate. When those who are against conservative policies don’t have sufficient opposition arguments, they call the love of freedom selfish. Of course it is – in the sense that breathing’s selfish. But because you want to breathe doesn’t mean […]

A conservative may tell you that you shouldn’t make fun of something. “You shouldn’t make fun of cripples,” he may say. And he may be right. But a liberal will tell you, “You can’t make fun of cripples.” And he’s wrong- as anybody who’s heard the one about Helen Keller falling into a well and […]

Why are conservatives opposed to government funding of art, music, public broadcasting and so forth? It’s not really because of the dirty pictures. If my tax dollars are going to be spent by a nitwit in SoHo, I might as well get some smut out of it. The problem is that taxes are taken by […]