P.J. O'Rourke Quotes

It’s always hard to see hope with a hangover.

Guns are always the best method for a private suicide. They are more stylish looking than single edged razor blades, and natural gas has gotten so expensive. Drugs are too chancy. You might miscalculate the dosage and just have a good time.

Then there was LSD, which was supposed to make you think you could fly. I remember it made you think you couldn’t stand up, and mostly it was right.

No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we’re looking for the sources of our troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed, and love of power.

Like many men of my generation, I had an opportunity to give war a chance, and I promptly chickened out. I went to my draft physical in 1970 with a doctor’s letter about my history of drug abuse. The letter was four and a half pages long with three and a half pages devoted to […]

(It’s said that hallucinogenic drugs give insight) But just what kind of insight are we talking about here? Are we talking about the Second Law of Thermodynamics? Or are we talking about “Oh wow, like, I finally realized that, deep down inside, I’m me.”?

Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we’re looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.

Giving money and power to the government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

If I give up drinking, smoking, and fatty foods, I can add ten years to my life. Trouble is, I’ll add it to the wrong end.

Politicians are interested in people. Not that this is always a virtue. Dogs are interested in fleas.