Mark Twain Quotes

I found out that I was a Christian for revenue only and I could not bear the thought of that, it was so ignoble.

Of the commandments, only a single one of the 10 has found ministerial obedience; multiply and replenish the earth. To it sinner and saint, scholar and ignoramus, Christian and savage are alike loyal.

The church worked hard at it night and day during nine centuries and imprisoned, tortured, hanged and burned whole hordes and armies of witches, and washed the Christian world clean with their foul blood. Then it was discovered that there was no such thing as witches, and never had been. One doesn’t know whether to […]

I bring you this stately matron named Christendom, returning bedraggled, besmirched, and dishonored from pirate raids in Kiao-Chow, Manchuria, South Africa, and the Philippines, with her soul full of meanness, her pocket full of boodle, and her mouth full of pious hypocrisies. Give her soap and a towel, but hide the looking-glass.

For England must not fall: it would mean an inundation of Russian and German political degradations which would envelop the globe and steep it in a sort of Middle-Age night and slaverly which would last till Christ comes again–which I hope he will not do; he made trouble enough before.

I bring you the stately matron named Christendom, returning bedraggled, besmirched, and dishonored, from pirate raids in Kiao-Chou, Manchuria, South Africa, and the Phillipines, with her soul full of meanness, her pocket full of boodle, and her mouth full of pious hypocrisies. Give her soap and towel, but hide the looking glass.

The burnt child shuns the fire. Until next day.

We are always too busy for our children; we never give them the time or interest they deserve. We lavish gifts upon them; but the most precious gift, our personal association, which means so much to them, we give grudgingly.

We have named it Cain. She caught it while I was up country trapping; caught it in the timber a couple of miles from our dug-out – or it might have been four, she isn’t certain which. It resembles us in some ways, and may be a relation. That is what she thinks, but this […]

Children have but little charity for one another’s defects.