If I cannot smoke cigars in Heaven, I shall not go.
Mark Twain Quotes
Concentration of power in a political machine is bad; and an Established Church is only a political machine; it was invented for that; it is nursed, cradled, preserved for that; it is an enemy to human liberty, and does no good which it could not better do in a split-up and scattered condition.
The approach of Christmas brings harrassment and dread to many excellent people. They have to buy a cart-load of presents, and they never know what to buy to hit the various tastes; they put in three weeks of hard and anxious work, and when Christmas morning comes they are so dissatisfied with the result, and […]
It is believed by everyone that when he was in heaven he was stern, hard, resentful, jealous and cruel, but that when he came down to earth, he became the opposite – sweet, gentle merciful, forgiving. He was a thousand billion times crueler than ever he was in the Old Testament – Meek and gentle? […]
You can never find a Christian who has acquired this valuable knowledge, this saving knowledge, by any process but the everlasting and all-sufficient “people say”. In all my seventy-two years and a half I have never come across such another ass as this human race is.
Christianity will doubtless still survive in the earth ten centuries hence – stuffed and in a museum.
I found out that I was a Christian for revenue only and I could not bear the thought of that, it was so ignoble.
Of the commandments, only a single one of the 10 has found ministerial obedience; multiply and replenish the earth. To it sinner and saint, scholar and ignoramus, Christian and savage are alike loyal.
The church worked hard at it night and day during nine centuries and imprisoned, tortured, hanged and burned whole hordes and armies of witches, and washed the Christian world clean with their foul blood. Then it was discovered that there was no such thing as witches, and never had been. One doesn’t know whether to […]
I bring you this stately matron named Christendom, returning bedraggled, besmirched, and dishonored from pirate raids in Kiao-Chow, Manchuria, South Africa, and the Philippines, with her soul full of meanness, her pocket full of boodle, and her mouth full of pious hypocrisies. Give her soap and a towel, but hide the looking-glass.
