There is nothing you can say in answer to a compliment. I have been complimented myself a great many times, and they always embarrass me – I always feel that they have not said enough.
Mark Twain Quotes
A dozen direct censures are easier to bear than one morganatic compliment.
Obscurity and competence – that is the life that is best worth living.
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
Comedy keeps the heart sweet.
Nothing agrees with me. If I drink coffee, it gives me dyspepsia; if I drink wine, it gives me the gout; if I go to church, it gives me dysentery.
A policeman in plain clothes is a man; in his uniform he is ten. Clothes and title are the most potent thing, the most formidable influence, in the earth. They move the human race to willing and spontaneous respect for the judge, the general, the admiral, the bishop, the ambassador, the frivolous earl, the idiot […]
The newest prisoner’s crime was a mere remark which he had made. He said he believed that men were about all alike, and one man as good as another, barring clothes. He said he believed that if you were to strip the nation naked and send a stranger through the crowd, he couldn’t tell the […]
To a man all things are possible but one – he cannot have a hole in the seat of his breeches and keep his fingers out of it. A man does seem to feel more distress and more persistent and distracting solicitude about such a thing than he could about a sick child that was […]
Naked, what am I? A lank, skinny, spider-legged libel on the image of God! Look at the waxwork head – the face, with the expression of a melon – the projecting ears – the knotted elbows – the dished breast – the knife-edged shins – and then the feet, all beads and joints and bone-sprays, […]
