Imagine hanging the stones of a man, where they are forever getting themselves knocked, pinched, and bruised. Any decent mechanic would have put them in the exact center of the body, protected by an envelope twice as thick as a Presbyterian’s skull. Moreover, consider certain parts of the female – always too large or too […]
Henry Louis Mencken Quotes
There is, in fact, no reason to believe that any given natural phenomenon, however marvellous it may seem today, will remain forever inexplicable. Soon or late the laws governing the production of life itself will be discovered in the laboratory, and man may set up business as a creator in his own account.
The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.
Courtroom: A place where Jesus Christ and Judas Iscariot would be equals, with the betting odds favoring Judas.
When I mount the scaffold at last these will be my farewell words to the sheriff: Say what you will against me when I am gone, but don’t forget to add, in common justice, that I was never converted to anything.
I have never tried to convert anyone to anything. No man writing can avoid being pawed over by the imbecile type of person who is hunting for someone to follow – the natural subordinate, the Yes-man. Some of these vermin have followed me. I have no more grievance in losing them than would a dog […]
I detest converts almost as much as I do missionaries.
There is, in fact, nothing about religious opinions that entitles them to any more respect than other opinions get. On the contrary, they tend to be noticeably silly.
The central belief of every moron is that he is the victim of a mysterious conspiracy against his common rights and true deserts. He ascribes all his failure to get on in the world, all of his congenital incapacity and dam foolishness, to the machinations of werewolves assembled in Wall Street, or some other such […]
Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
