Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
George Carlin Quotes
Life is a series of dogs.
Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?
Do you ever open the dictionary right to the page you want? Doesn’t that feel good?
Where does the dentist go when he leaves the room?
I went straight from shenanigans to crimes against humanity.
If crime fighters fight crime, and firefighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
When you stress individualism, as this country does; materialism, as this country does; personal weaponry, as this country does; and racial hatred, which is part of our heritage as white Europeans; and then you add the volatile ingredient of “nothing left to lose,” which we foster through social policy, you will get what America got: […]
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
Everybody’s got more jet skis and Dustbusters now and sneakers with lights in them. They’ve got more cheese on their thing that they buy. They get double helpings. See, Americans measure all their progress in the wrong way. They measure by quantity and by gizmos and toys. And not by quality and by things that […]
