California is running out of electricity… What can the rest of us do to help our fellow countrypersons in California? The answer is that we can send them our spare electricity. Just imagine what would happen if all the households in this great and generous nation got out their extension cords and connected them together, […]
Dave Barry Quotes
This striving for excellence extends into people’s personal lives as well. When ’80s people buy something, they buy the best one, as determined by (1) price and (2) lack of availability. Eighties people buy imported dental floss. They buy gourmet baking soda. If an ’80s couple goes to a restaurant where they have made a […]
All the big corporations depreciate their possessions, and you can, too, provided you use them for business purposes. For example, if you subscribe to the Wall Street Journal, a business-related newspaper, you can deduct the cost of your house, because, in the words of U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice Warren Burger in a landmark 1979 […]
And this is only one of the differences between men’s and women’s brains. Another difference involves a brain part called the “cingulate gyrus,” which is the sector where emotions are located. The Reuters article does not describe the cingulate gyrus, but presumably in women it is a structure the size of a mature cantaloupe, containing […]
I have never gotten into wine. I’m a beer man. What I like about beer is you basically just drink it, then you order another one. You don’t sniff at it, or hold it up to the light and slosh it around, and above all you don’t drone on and on about it, the way […]
When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer.
All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.
I like beer. On occasion, I will even drink beer to celebrate a major event such as the fall of communism or the fact that the refrigerator is still working.
If you Cosmopolitan editors stopped obsessing about men, you could focus your brainpower on the Middle East Peace Process, health care, Social Security or the federal budget surplus. I bet you could give us some important insights into these issues! Or at least tell us how to drive them wild in bed.
By today’s beauty standards, of course, Marilyn Monroe was an oil tanker.
