There is a very fine line between hobby and mental illness.
Dave Barry Quotes
In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it “Christmas” and went to church; the Jews called it “Hanukkah” and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say “Merry Christmas!” or “Happy Hanukkah!” or (to the atheists) “Look […]
You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, ‘My God, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!’
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.
The only dog I ever met that was dumber than Shawna belongs to my editor. This dog, a collie named Augie, also looks smart, if you grew up watching “Lassie.” Lassie looked brilliant, in part because the farm family she lived with was made up of idiots. Remember? One of them was always getting pinned […]
Everybody loves a backyard barbecue. For some reason, food just seems to taste better when it has been cooked outdoors, where flies can lay eggs on it.
When a woman shops for clothes, her primary objective is not to find clothes that fit her particular body. She would like for that to be the case but her primary objective is to purchase clothes that are the size she wore when she was 19 years old. This will be some arbitrary number such […]
Both of your socks should always be the same color, Or they should at least both be fairly dark.
In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it “Christmas” and went to church; the Jews called it “Hanukkah” and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say “Merry Christmas!” or “Happy Hanukkah!” or (to the atheists) “Look […]
Dogs would make totally incompetent criminals. If you could somehow get a group of dogs to understand the concept of the Kennedy assassination, they would all immediately confess to it. Whereas you’ll never see a cat display any kind of guilty behavior, despite the fact that several cats were seen in Dallas on the Grassy […]
