Beer: helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B.C.!

There are only two times when I drink beer, when I’m alone and when I’m with someone else.

Remember “I”! before “E”, except in Budweiser.

Keep America beautiful. Swallow your beer cans.

To some it’s a six-pack, to me it’s a Support Group. Salvation in a can!

Beauty lies in the hands of the beerholder.

I think that I shall never hear A poem lovelier than beer. The stuff that Joe’s Bar has on tap, With golden base and snowy cap. The stuff that I can drink all day Until my memory melts away. Poems are made by fools, I fear But only Schlitz can make a beer.

Beer is good food.

If they don’t want us to drink and drive, why do you have to have a driver’s license to buy beer?

It’s better to have beer in hand than gas in tank.