Remember “I”! before “E”, except in Budweiser.

Keep America beautiful. Swallow your beer cans.

To some it’s a six-pack, to me it’s a Support Group. Salvation in a can!

Beauty lies in the hands of the beerholder.

I think that I shall never hear A poem lovelier than beer. The stuff that Joe’s Bar has on tap, With golden base and snowy cap. The stuff that I can drink all day Until my memory melts away. Poems are made by fools, I fear But only Schlitz can make a beer.

Beer is good food.

If they don’t want us to drink and drive, why do you have to have a driver’s license to buy beer?

It’s better to have beer in hand than gas in tank.

Yesterday, scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, and couldn’t drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong. […]

Life is too short to drink cheap beer.