The fastest computer of tomorrow won’t do any of the work you need done today. If you’re always willing to wait for the next best thing you’ll never get anywhere.

People who buy Macs are the same people who said BETA is better than VHS 15 years ago.

A computer makes it possible to do, in half an hour, tasks which were completely unnecessary to do before.

Computers allow us to work 100% faster. The bad news: They generate 300% more work.

The goal of computer science is to build something that will last until we have finished building it!

What goes up must come down. Ask any system administrator.

An odd thought strikes me: We shall not receive e-mail in the grave. How will we survive?

Who’s General Failure and why’s he reading my disk?

There comes a time when all people break down and do the unthinkable: They read the manual.

The world will end in 5 minutes. Please log out.