Gnostics, n. A sect of philosophers who tried to engineer a fusion between the early Christians and the Platonists. The former would not go into the caucus and the combination failed, greatly to the chagrin of the fusion managers.
Ambrose Bierce Quotes
Cartesian, adj. Relating to Descartes, a famous philosopher, author of the celebrated dictum, “Cogito ergo sum” – whereby he was pleased to suppose he demonstrated the reality of human existence. The dictum might be improved, however, thus: “Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum” – “I think that I think, therefore I think that I am;” as […]
Restitutor, n. Benefactor; philanthropist.
Pessimism, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile.
Optimist, n. A proponent of the doctrine that black is white. A pessimist applied to God for relief. “Ah, you wish me to restore your hope and cheerfulness,” said God. “No,” replied the petitioner, “I wish you to create something that would justify them.” – “The world is all created,” said God, “but you have […]
Rack, n. An argumentative implement formerly much used in persuading devotees of a false faith to embrace the living truth. As a call to the unconverted the rack never had any particular efficacy, and is now held in light popular esteem.
Perfection, n. An imaginary state of quality distinguished from the actual by an element known as excellence; an attribute of the critic.
Pedestrian, n. The variable (an audible) part of the roadway for an automobile.
Quill, n. An implement of torture yielded by a goose and commonly wielded by an ass. This use of the quill is now obsolete, but its modern equivalent, the steel pen, is wielded by the same everlasting Presence.
Peace, n. In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.
