Pedigree, n. The known part of the route from an arboreal ancestor with a swim bladder to an urban descendant with a cigarette.
Ambrose Bierce Quotes
Genealogy, n. An account of one’s descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his own.
Ramshackle, adj. Pertaining to a certain order of architecture, otherwise known as the Normal American. Most of the public buildings of the United States are of the Ramshackle order, though some of our earlier architects preferred the Ironic.
Un-American, adj. Wicked, intolerable, heathenish.
Ambition, n. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
Exile, n. One who serves his country by residing abroad, yet is not an ambassador.
Alone, adj. In bad company.
Alliance, n.: In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pocket that they cannot separately plunder a third.
Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.
Brandy: n. A cordial composed of one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan. Dose, a headful all the time. Brandy is said by Dr, Johnson to be the drink of heroes. Only a hero will venture to drink it.
