Birth, n.: The first and direst of all disasters.
Ambrose Bierce Quotes
Magpie, n.: A bird whose theivish disposition suggested to someone that it might be taught to talk.
Ostrich, n.: A large bird to which (for its sins, doubtless) nature has denied that hinder toe in which so many pious naturalists have seen a conspicuous evidence of design. The absence of a good working pair of wings is no defect, for, as has been ingeniously pointed out, the ostrich does not fly.
Turkey, n. A large bird whose flesh when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude. Incidentally, it is pretty good eating.
Revelation, n. A famous book in which St. John the Divine concealed all that he knew. The revealing is done by the commentators, who know nothing.
Fidelity, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
Otherwise, adv. No better.
Ingrate, n. One who receives a benefit from another, or is otherwise an object of charity.
Providential, adj. Unexpectedly and conspicuously beneficial to the person so describing it.
Preference, n. A sentiment, or frame of mind, induced by the erroneous belief that one thing is better than another.
