Clergyman, n. A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual affairs as a method of bettering his temporal ones.
Ambrose Bierce Quotes
Evangelist, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our neighbors.
Christians and camels receive their burdens kneeling.
Christian, n. One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor. One who follows the teachings of Christ in so far as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.
Infidel, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does.
Childhood, n. The period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth – two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.
Seine, n. A kind of net for effecting an involuntary change of environment. For fish it is made strong and coarse, but women are more easily taken with a singularly delicate fabric weighted with small, cut stones.
Accountability, n. The mother of caution.
Cat, n. A soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.
Poker, n. A game said to be played with cards for some purpose to this lexicographer unknown.
