Idiot, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling. The Idiot’s activity is not confined to any special field of thought or action, but “pervades and regulates the whole.”
Ambrose Bierce Quotes
Idleness, n. A model farm where the devil experiments with seeds of new sins and promotes the growth of staple vices.
Mesmerism, n. Hypnotism before it wore good clothes, kept a carriage and asked Incredulity to dinner.
Politeness: the most acceptable hypocrisy.
Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo.
Christian. n. One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.
Husband, n. One who, having dined, is charged with the care of the plate.
“You are a beast of war,” said the Sheep to the Lion, “yet men go gunning for you. Me, a believer in non-resistance, they do not hunt.” – “They do not need to,” replied the son of the desert; “they can breed you.”
Hurry, n. The dispatch of bunglers.
Humorist, n. A plague that would have softened down the hoar austerity of Pharaoh’s heart and persuaded him to dismiss Israel with his best wishes, cat-quick.
