Injury, n. An offense next in degree of enormity to a slight.
Ambrose Bierce Quotes
Influence, n. In politics, a visionary pquo’ given in exchange for a substantial pquid’.
Intention, n. The mind’s sense of the prevalence of one set of influences over another set; an effect whose cause is the imminence, immediate or remote, of the performance of an involuntary act.
Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder.
Indigestion, n. A disease which the patient and his friends frequently mistake for deep religious conviction and concern for the salvation of mankind.
Pie, n. An advance agent of the reaper whose name is Indigestion.
Hatchet, n. A young axe, known among Indians as a Thomashawk.
Aborigines, n. Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
Red-skin, n. A North American Indian, whose skin is not red – at least not on the outside.
Indecision, n. The chief element of success… for “he who from indecision standeth still hath not so many chances of going astray as he who pusheth forwards.” (Sir Thomas Brewbold)
