Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries, has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.
Ambrose Bierce Quotes
Abrupt, adj. Sudden, without ceremony, like the arrival of a cannon-shot and the departure of the soldier whose interests are most affected by it.
Dragoon, n. A soldier who combines dash and steadiness in so equal measure that he makes his advances on foot and his retreats on horseback.
Recruit, n. A person distinguishable from a civilian by his uniform and from a soldier by his gait.
Hermit, n. A person whose vices and follies are not sociable.
Meerschaum, n. A fine white clay, which for convenience in coloring it brown is made into tobacco pipes and smoked by the workmen engaged in that industry.
Nose, n. The extreme outpost of the face. It has been observed that one’s nose is never so happy as when thrust into the affairs of others, from which some physiologists have drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.
Pigmy, n. One of a tribe of very small men found by ancient travelers in many parts of the world, but by modern in Central Africa only. The Pigmies are so called to distinguish them from the bulkier Caucasians – who are Hogmies.
Reveille, n. A signal to sleeping soldiers to dream of battlefields no more, but get up and have their blue noses counted.
Slang, n. The speech of one who utters with his tongue what he thinks with his ear, and feels the pride of a creator in accomplishing the feat of a parrot. A means (under Providence) of setting up as a wit without a capital of sense.
